The EOD Man

AS SEEN BY HIS COMMANDER:  The perfect example of a drunken, brawling, jeep stealing, woman corrupting liar with a star sapphire ring, Rolex watch, and a demo knife.   AS SEEN BY HQ:  A no-account drunken, brawling, jeep stealing, woman corrupting liar with a star sapphire ring, Rolex watch, and a demo knife   AS SEEN BY THE DoD:  An over-paid, over-rated, tax burden who is indispensable because he has volunteered to go anywhere and do anything as long as he can booze it up, brawl, steal jeeps, corrupt women, lie and wear a star sapphire ring, Rolex watch and a demo knife   AS SEEN BY HIS WIFE:   A stinking , horny member of the family who comes home once a month hung over, broke, with stale booze on his breath, all bruised up, driving a stolen jeep with a rucksack full of dirty laundry, wearing a cheap imitation ring, an over priced watch, a dull rusty knife, and sporting a hard on   AS SEEN BY HIMSELF:  A tall, handsome, highly trained professional killer, idol to countless females, capable of impossible tasks, star sapphire ring wearing, demo knife carrying gentleman, who is always on time thanks to his ability to obtain immediated transportation and the reliability of his Rolex watch